Everything is…

a gosh-damned piece of fucking shit.

I feel…

like hiding in a hole and never coming out.

In other news, I know I’ve stopped updating every day. It’s not that I haven’t stopped dieting and working out its just I haven’t been weighing in. Last week though I was 186. I feel terrible. It’s so easy for a lot of people to lose weight, and it makes me jealous. I’m not going to give up, but it feels like I’m only going to lose 1 pound a month. It sucks.

If I can get to my dad’s house…

I will weigh in again…my car is overheating so I can’t exactly get to my dads unless I bike there which is probably what I’ll do tomorrow when I wake up. You see…at my dad’s house there is a scale to weigh myself with. The one I have at my home was soooooo old and bit the dust, but I do intend to weigh myself soon. Hopefully tomorrow…yea…that would be nice.

On a more depressing topic…things are going bad in other areas of my personal life. I’m sure it will right itself in a week. Maybe. Hopefully. Cross your fingers. Is it weird that as I am writing this, I’m imagining Wheatley from Portal 2 reading this blog out-loud? Humans…ugh!…I just love ‘em!

Good news

I did nothing and got to back down to 187.2. I’m glad I’m not 189 anymore though. Rest of the measurements are still the same though.

Sad news

Today I weighed in…

Exact same measurements except weight.


I gained 3 pounds D: HOW?! Is it because I went biking every night and gained muscle? I DON’T know! I even eat healthy. It boggles the mind. We’ll see what happens next week.


Sincerely,

Me. 

DO YOU KNOW WHAT DAY IT IS?

Today is weigh in day….I’ve actually lost some. Well….about one pound.

Weight: 186.8
Waist: 37.75 inches…   :D
Arms: Still 13 inches D:
Thighs: 23.5 inches :)

I LOST A POUND SINCE I STARTED! That is so exciting for me since I never can lose weight. I need to keep doing what I’m doing. I’m so proud of myself.

So you know, I’m getting married next year August. I don’t have money to order things right now, but I’m designing what I want. It made me depressed when some other engaged woman I know was like “How’s the wedding planning going? Isn’t it fun?” and I was distraught. I was fighting with my fiance at that exact moment and that was the last thing I wanted to see. I didn’t answer her. Her status’ on Facebook have said that she already has a venue picked, already has her dress,  and has a photographer and dj booked. I feel bad…she’s been engaged a lot shorter than I have and she has all this done already. Meh. :(  We’ll see what happens. I’m just not going to answer her :/ From what I’m told it is her “thing” to plan weddings. If it comes down to it, I may ask her for advice….but yea….I’ll start off by reading “The Big Book of White Weddings” by David Tutera.

Blarg. It’ll turn out well. 

It’s Tuesday…

I weighed in at 187.2 lbs today. It’s not a big achievement seeing as I fluctuate a pound each day, but we’ll see what happens. My measurements (besides my weight) are the same since I measured them last night. I’m hoping to go on a long walk today.

It’s time for game so I’ll see you later.

Love, peace, no more chicken grease.

 

Sad Truth.

Losing weight is hard. I don’t know how I got so bad/let it get so bad. I used to be 135 and thought I was fat, and now I want to punch my past self in the face. I’ve become unhappy with myself, and I’ve been trying to change. I exercise a lot, eat a lot of healthy foods, but I’ve constantly maintained a weight of 187 lbs. I can’t look at myself in the mirror without being self-conscious. ‘Tis ridiculous. I need to step up my game x 5.  Every Tuesday I’m going to weigh in and then post results. I thought about doing a youtube vlog like “Shayloss”.

Measurements at first weight in:

Weight: 188 lbs (With T.O.M)
Waist Circumference: 40 inches
Thigh Circum: 24 inches
Arm Circumference: 13 inches





 

Today…

“…Is gonna be the day but they’ll never throw it back to you.” Sometimes I can never resist the urge to continue the last word someone says with lyrics to follow up… “and down and move it all around. Put your arms in the air, put your hands on the ground…” 

Yesterday (“all my troubles seemed so far away”) I had spent time with people I hadn’t seen in a while (“Since I could hold my head up high”). It was very fun (“in the sun…everybody needs some. Yeah. Yeah.”). We spent a lot of time talking about cute, stupid, and funny things our cats seem to do ( “ya well do ya do ya do ya wanna”). We also talked about ghosts (“that are never going to catch me.”). That seemed to go on for a few hours, and I thought it was awesome because I don’t have many friends that believe (“In me till there’s nothing left of us…”). 

I’m going to play Minecraft because “Today I don’t feel like doing anything” 

#lyrics  

tumblrbot said: WHAT IS YOUR EARLIEST HUMAN MEMORY?

I think my earliest human memory was when I went to the grocery store with my parents, and I accidentally ran up and hugged another person’s leg instead of my mom’s leg. Embarrassing.